Please Be That Guy

Good morning, kittens! How goes the day? It's overcast and rainy (again) in sunny Fargo. I have come to the conclusion that I reside in the wrong area of the Great States of 50.

Though North Dakota is wonderful in many ways, it lacks what I love most. Water. There isn't much free-flowing around these parts that isn't brown or man-made. Don't worry about me though, I make do with 900 baths a day. Or zero if I have the day off. Closer to zero on most days.

And I'm oh kay with that. I don't mind my own funk. It's a heady aroma of awesome, wonderfulness, and pretzel. It's the pretzel that brings all the boys to the yard, yo. And they're starting to kill the grass beneath my balcony.

I'm getting married (again) soon and I have been thinking of old lovers. And old friends who wanted to be lovers. And old friends who never wanted to be lovers. I miss those the most. Especially the old friends/never lovers who were of the male persuasion. They do exist and I want mine back.

Of course men and women can be friends with absolutely no benefits. And it's fucking awesome. Dudes you can hang out with with no pretense of anything beyond the wings you're eating? Them telling you about the sauce all over your face with no hope of licking it off? Someone who isn't embarrassed that your shoes don't match your belt and your clutch? Or that you're not even wearing shoes? A guy who wants to hang out with you and not show you off as a trophy he has pillaged and plundered for? Yesyesyes. YES.

Steps for cultivating friendship - any friendship:

1) Learn to treat people with respect
2) Learn to look past differences
3) Be kind and civil
4) See beyond skin color, background, socio-economic status, and sex

And the most important friendship rule: look at people and see them for the person they are and not for what you can get out of them.

If you follow these rules you too can have friends. Even friends who have different junk than you do.

I will make you a promise. If we ever meet and become friends I won't put you in the boyfriend zone if you won't put me in the girlfriend zone.

Not everyone you meet has to fit into a box you have pre-packaged for them. If you can't be friends without longing for some sweet meat then say so and move on.

Question - how many of your exes would you be friends with if you hadn't shared a plate of bangers and mash? Me? 99% of them. And I miss them all for one reason or another and none of that missing has anything to do with their hang lows.

Stay shiny, kittens.